I’m trying hard to be a person who gets up earlier in the morning (which is entirely different than becoming a morning person according to science). It’s been rough. We co-sleep, so E still shares our bed, and on nights that she tosses and turns, or if hyper, I’m up more. But today, even though last night was a sobbing mess of an overly tired toddler, I am awake early. I’ve been up for about 2 hours, I’ve made myself coffee, and E is still asleep in bed 2 floors above me.
I need this. I need these little pockets of quiet and alone in order to be a better mother, a better person. With G hard at work on school work once he’s home, I’m left with a toddler to deal with all day and most evenings. This quiet gives me a recharge. A chance to pray about my day, to prepare for the chaos that a 2 year old can bring. Don’t get me wrong, I love the chaos. I love the moments of coloring and dancing and snuggling. But the responsibility to be in the moment, to take so much of me to put into someone else is overwhelming at times.
It’s nearly 11, and I’ll soon need to wake her. But I’ve had this time, and I’m refreshed. Today will be beautiful.